Ms. Sarcasm Rant: F**k you Prissy Prudes, E-Thugs and your CAPS Lock Too.

Posted: January 28, 2012 in Annoying Habits of the Human Race, Entertainment, Social Media What The Fuckery
Tags: , , , ,

I pretty much start my day in the same manner everyday. I growl at my alarm clock, hit the snooze a few times, get up begrudgingly, and perform my morning ritual of getting my son and myself ready for the day. After all of this is done, I then go onto my phone and to briefly check my Facebook to see if there is anything interesting or may be see if I received a reply or maybe answer one of my notifications.

But I cannot sign on…This has perturbed me.

So I say “screw it” and think that maybe there is a little glitch as usual on Fuckerberg’s (I ❤ calling him that ,”The Social Network” did not exactly endear him to my heart.) end and went about getting my coffee and breakfast and left for work. When I was able to take my morning break, I signed on to Facebook via computer only to find out that I am banned (Whaaat??) for 24 hours because some Puritan got happy with the power of the “report” function over a picture that I had posted that was a little risque (but not all blatant with titties and schlongs galore) on my little fun page that I use to post this blog (whenever I am able to fully formulate a sentence from the many thoughts in my head) and post pictures that make me laugh and sometimes help me get a lift in this otherwise hectic fucking world .

For as long as I have ever had an email account or social media page or participated on discussion forum there are always one of two people online. The E-Thug/Keyboard Killa and the Prissy Prude. To me these are the upper echelon of in the hierarchy of assholes. They are usually immature, but some of them go above and beyond and feel the need to infect the rest of the world with their parasitic misery. I know I am no alone as I refer to these idiots, because I see it online everyday and usually I do a good job of ignoring them but after weeks of the bs I have to ask…. How the hell do you go on a page or a website, knowing full well what it’s about from the title alone or the description and then take offense to it? That’s like having sex with someone who told you outright that they have an erectile dysfunction disorder, frigid vagina or at worse and STI and then complaining when you don’t get off or your genitals become more toxic than rat poison…. Fucking moronic.

 

1. The “E-Thug/Keyboard Killa:

 

While the picture isn’t an exactly accurate representation, the sentiment is the same. The “E-Thug” is an individual who will usually see something or post on some sort of forum and have a different view from others. Instead of conceding and acknowledging said differences, this person then presses the CAPS lock in order to convey the point that they are serious (pffft..ok asshole). This individual  is also prone to virtually threaten everyone by indicating that they have somehow captured everyone’s IP address and they are sending police to the home or that they have had the time to take a screenshot to go run and bitch about someone hurting their “feelings” online, or whatever else tickles their bitchass fancy (I’ve seen it many a time and it always cracks me up.). This species of idiocy will even go so far as to create a cowardice page or website, to further annoy the masses.This person also eight times of ten doesn’t have a job, girlfriend/boyfriend, their pet ran away and they sit at home all day looking for people to annoy instead of doing something more constructive like oh, I don’t know maybe ACQUIRING all of those things.

 

 

2. Fucking Prissy Prudes

The dictionary defines a prude as a person who affects or shows an excessively modest, prim, or proper attitude, especially regarding sex.

Well then………

Sex…sex…sex……sex…………. fucking SEX! There you prudish ass wipes, I said it. Go clutch your pearls and sing your unused vagina a lullaby.  Avert your eyes, gasp and clutch your pearls if you must, but stop being a kill joy for the rest of us. There is beauty in the body, there is an art form to sex, it’s beautiful, therapeutic and feels fucking great. Go have some of it and trust me, you won’t give a shit about a picture showing a hint of side boobies or even two animals humping in the wild. This is why most of the world thinks Americans are fucking morons, because heaven forbid we really get upset about anything tragic…we get indignant over Calvin Klein ads and cleavage. It’s just tits and ass folks, just tits and ass. Personally, I think if we could see them more and get over the Puritanical bullshit, this country might be better for it.

And don’t get me going on the whole  fucking “profanity” thing. (Gasp!, Oh my, did she just say fuck? Well I never! *report, report, report* and maybe I will even include a long, lengthy diatribe full of my pompous self-righteous superiority for effect..that’ll show her!). They say there are power in words and that’s true to an extent, but,for me they are just words and have no weight in my life. And psychologists even say that letting loose profanities is a GOOD thing for controlling anger issues and alleviating stress (read it in O! Magazine Online, so you know that shit is legit)

www.oprah.com/health/The-Hidden-Benefits-of-Cursing-Negativity-and-Gossip

 

 

Since the invention of the Internet, there have been those who want to censor it and what can be found on it. And the proposition of SOPA didn’t really help matters either. So listen here assholes…I understand the concept of the term ‘freedom of speech” can never really be free because the restrictions and loopholes needed to avoid “fighting words”, libel, slander, or  incitement to commit a crime, etc. But here’s my big thing: I can and will censor myself if have to, I don’t need you to do it for me. You have the right to go about your business if what I say or post bothers you because I am not posting anything  horribly offensive. In all honesty, I’m being pretty fucking tame because my sense of humor is downright sick and as much as I don’t want to offend anyone, I could give two flying fucks if I do. My content and anything I post will almost always showcase the ironic, the absurd, and the sarcastic (name of the blog and page should give you a clue.)

 

In this world we are not going to always agree with what someone thinks is funny or what they think the world needs to see, and if that is the case click the “unlike” button, or never go to the website again and go about your fucking business. Don’t start that trolling shit or whatever they call it making it seem like only YOUR right to not view something is important, because guess what? It fucking isn’t. Don’t start hyperventilating talking about “But what if kids see this??” Guess what nimrods…. They have parental controls so if you are a parent…fucking control and watch your kids.

And on that note, I’m off.

 

Comments
  1. ahahahha your fucking funny!!

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